So I was driving home last night, going maybe 65 in a 55, when I see the familiar blue and red lights. Fuck me right? I pull over, cop walks up and she asks for license and registration. I give her all my paperwork and wait as she walks away. She came back really quickly and she says, "I noticed the caswell and rally school stickers, I also see your name is Brian. Are you..."

*BAM* a fucking van slammed into her and the side of my car. Two masked thugs pulled me out of the car and threw me into the back of the van. They duct taped my hands and mouth as they pulled away from my now ruined car. They told me they were going to kill me and my family because they were bored. I was fucking terrified. They took out my wallet and scanned my drivers license for my address. Thug 1 handed it to the driver and pulled out a big fucking knife. He got closer, and closer, until the driver shouted "Wait!" He stopped the van and turned around in his seat. "Hey, are you Brian1321? You know, from Jalopnik?" I nodded my head yes. He told me he liked reading my comments and even went to the brian1321fanclub forum for some nsfw content. They apologized for the inconvenience and let me go. Jalopnik saved me from getting a speeding ticket AND from being murdered.

What are the odds?